Are we in a gay sports bar?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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