I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
