dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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