Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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