If that was your dad, he is hot
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
