Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
