Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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