Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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