you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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