I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
