she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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