i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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