she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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