OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
