i already hear my dad disowning me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
