Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
