But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
