I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
