Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
