I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
