Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
