Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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