I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have aggressive nipples.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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