I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
