I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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