Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
