Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Operation Purity has been aborted
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
