Pappa wants mamma naked
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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