and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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