Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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