google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
