More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
