nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
