I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
did i walk over a car last night?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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