I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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