ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just cropdusted the office
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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