i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
