Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

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(845): View more from New York

If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

Fav 11 1042 4170
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(660): View more from Missouri

I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

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(613): View more from Ontario

There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

Fav 3 1831 989
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(562): View more from California

as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...

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(605): View more from South Dakota

EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT

Fav 1 69 14
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(706): View more from Georgia

That's why we have robots to masturbate for us

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