You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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