I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
