I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
