I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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