I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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