What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
