He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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