My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
