When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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