end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
