just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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