apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want to be your penis for a week.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize