Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
