two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
