I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wear drunk well.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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