doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
