guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
