What tipped you off? The sombrero?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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