And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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